i can't believe school is about to begin, AGAIN. i did not miss school at all and i won't be looking forward for another year in the hellhole. next year is gonna be even worse, seeing as its spm year and its the year where we're obligated to be nerds and live in a closet.
my parents have been asking me if i've decided on what i want to do after spm. and everytime i give the same answer: no.
i was actually supposed to decide and let them know before the year ends, but yeah, i haven't been thinking about it not because im lazy, but simply because I. DONT. KNOW. WHAT. TO. DO. simple as that. my interests aren't what you call money-making interests. ergo, that's not a course that i should be taking. terrific.
i'm interested in literature, i can't write for cow balls.
i hate maths. shut up, dont ask me to become some engineer cos i suck at math.
i dont want to be a lawyer.
creative courses are out, seeing as if you aren't one of the best, the money isn't going to come.
it's all about the money laaa. i envy those who have careers in fields that they actually enjoy. am seriously dreading having to discuss this with my parents, AGAIN. i dont know what to tell them, i just dont know. sometimes i just feel like saying,
"look. face it. i am a useless person with no particular aim in life. just let it go."
obviously that isn't likely to happen, cos if i actually grow the balls to say that, my dad will beat me up as hard as Chuck Norris himself. well maybe not as hard cos noone can compare to Chuck Norris.
that matter aside, i still havent gone out recently. jiaern is in penang, and my cousin is busy. i am bored. very bored. i seriously do need to go on a major shopping spree. and ive been dying to go out at night. but both are unlikely to happen. my moms been busy, and ive been bugging her almost everyday to go out. never happens. and recently the poor girl who was found dead (rest in peace), yeah well that kinda striked up even more worry in my mom than she had before. she already had a decent amount of worry in her which shows in my not going out at night, or not frequently going out at all, for that matter. she's even more worried now and it looks like i'll be a nice little girl, sitting at home staring at my white, white wall. yes, i know, its not her fault. and no, im not blaming her. in fact, im not blaming her at all. far from it. yes, i do understand that her worry is there for a reason, but for once i would just want to be free. free. bebas. merdeka.
mehh. merry christmas to you too.
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